What can I do if my child does not want to have contact with me?

It can be very distressing if this happens, particularly if you have been longing for contact for many years. However, it is important that the intermediary agency does not put the adopted person under pressure. They need to have the space and time to make their own decisions about whether or not they want to respond positively to your request. Hearing from you may have been very unsettling for them and they may not feel ready to have contact. If this does happen to you, perhaps you can take some comfort in knowing that unless there is an absolute veto in place, they are now aware of your interest and your wish to have contact and therefore may take a different view in the future.