Are reunions different if the birth relative has made the approach?

They can be. Some adopted people are really taken aback by the news that a birth relative wants to have contact. It may be something they had not really thought about and are not ready for. In these situations, it is important that the adopted person is given as much time as they need to think about if and how they want to take the enquiry forward. However, on the other hand some adopted people are very pleased to hear that their birth relatives want contact, particularly if it has been a desire of the adopted person to make contact but they felt anxious in case they were met with a rejection or were afraid the upset it may cause to their adoptive parents and the birth relative.